... and they've been hard ones as well, there's no point in my pretending any different. It's not the writing itself that's been the problem as much as the form, the structure. Writing has always come naturally to me, so the realisation that there actually IS a structure has come as something of a shock, one that's had me confused for several weeks now. Suddenly I got doubtful about everything, including my name at times, and for the last week or so my very survival on the course seemed to be in real doubt.
Still, today I've managed to put that behind me. I stay and fight. I've had my lesson, now what I have to do is learn from it and move on.
Back to Yorkshire on Saturday for Xmas with the family, but I'll be back in Falmouth before New Year with a heap of work to get through.
Au revoir,
Chris
Tuesday, 15 December 2009
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
Two hard weeks...
That's how long it's been since I last posted here. Okay the flu didn't exactly help, but actually it's been the sheer intensity of the course that's given me me the most problems. It's been a totally new experience for me and, this is still only the first term! Never mind, where would the feeling of achievement be if it was easy? Just a week to go before the first term's submissions are due and the workload is positively scary.
And after that, for I have no doubt that I will be back next term, what are my choices? Should I consider the Novel option that I originally came here to do, or should I switch - to the Script Writing option for example. Not sure to be honest, that's the reason I have a meeting with my tutor tomorrow to discuss the pros and cons... I'll keep you in touch.
Falmouth is still a lovely place to be. Despite the rain the place and the people are great,(well most of them anyway), though we'll be heading back to Yorkshire over Xmas for a swift, 7 day visit. Santa and Snowflakes, Pudding and Presents, Tinsel and Trees...
One more thing before I go, if you ever come to Falmouth, why not pop in to Tyto's Boutique/Gallery down on Discovery Quay. Always a nice welcome and a wide range of gifts and accessories. Oh, and the answer is no, they HAVEN'T bribed me to post this, I just happen to like the place. Take a look next time you're down that way.
http://www.tytoboutique.co.uk/ and support our local businesses.
Chris.
Now I'm afraid I have to go, I have a degree to pursue.
And after that, for I have no doubt that I will be back next term, what are my choices? Should I consider the Novel option that I originally came here to do, or should I switch - to the Script Writing option for example. Not sure to be honest, that's the reason I have a meeting with my tutor tomorrow to discuss the pros and cons... I'll keep you in touch.
Falmouth is still a lovely place to be. Despite the rain the place and the people are great,(well most of them anyway), though we'll be heading back to Yorkshire over Xmas for a swift, 7 day visit. Santa and Snowflakes, Pudding and Presents, Tinsel and Trees...
One more thing before I go, if you ever come to Falmouth, why not pop in to Tyto's Boutique/Gallery down on Discovery Quay. Always a nice welcome and a wide range of gifts and accessories. Oh, and the answer is no, they HAVEN'T bribed me to post this, I just happen to like the place. Take a look next time you're down that way.
http://www.tytoboutique.co.uk/ and support our local businesses.
Chris.
Now I'm afraid I have to go, I have a degree to pursue.
Sunday, 15 November 2009
A week of Change...
... and I'm not just talking about the weather either, which has been as wild and windy as I can remember it for ages; and I don't think I mentioned the rain did I ? Still, winter's on its way and I'm down here in the far corner of England, so I guess I can't really expect anything else.
It's hard work - did I tell you that? I'm not saying I expected it to be easy mind... but this? Six weeks in and it feels like I've been kicked in the chest by a horse. Okay, some of that might be down to the flu, but a lot of it is down to sheer exhaustion.
Still, never mind, there's always tomorrow, and though it might seem hard to believe, I'd rather be right here - right now - than anywhere else on God's Green Earth.
So come on Guys and Gals, we can do this... all of us.
Oz.
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
Decisions, decsisions, decisions...
I can't believe that's it's almost three weeks since my last post, and I guess that shows just how intense these past few weeks have been for me. Reading, writing, and not getting enough sleep. I can't really say the pressure has taken me by surprise, because so far I've coped with it... in my own way.
Week six, and already the big decisions are looming up on the horizon. What option do I take when next term comes around? The choice is between the novel I've been working on all these years, and script writing.
As if things weren't already hard enough, I'm taking on an extra burden, a three day script writing workshop being run by the BBC. After the taster we had in the opening week I can hardly wait. I've even got a possible comedy sketch set up and ready to be worked on... 'A Day in the Life of Death.' I'll need to work on it a fair bit before the course begins, but hey, I'm here to work aren't I?
Okay, time to move on I guess, keep writing more, better. Before I go though, here's a picture that sums up for me what's so special about Falmouth. The lifeboat Richard Cox Scott...
Chris.
Week six, and already the big decisions are looming up on the horizon. What option do I take when next term comes around? The choice is between the novel I've been working on all these years, and script writing.
As if things weren't already hard enough, I'm taking on an extra burden, a three day script writing workshop being run by the BBC. After the taster we had in the opening week I can hardly wait. I've even got a possible comedy sketch set up and ready to be worked on... 'A Day in the Life of Death.' I'll need to work on it a fair bit before the course begins, but hey, I'm here to work aren't I?
Okay, time to move on I guess, keep writing more, better. Before I go though, here's a picture that sums up for me what's so special about Falmouth. The lifeboat Richard Cox Scott...
Chris.
Tuesday, 27 October 2009
Babahogs...
Unless you live in the Falmouth area you probably won't have heard of Babahogs. Until a couple of days ago neither had I, but after tonight I'm a fan. I went to the monthly writers evening tonight - last Tuesday in every month. The place was packed, people sitting and standing to listen to readings in a whole range of genres - poetry, drama, short stories and extracts from possible novels.
Yes, I certainly did the right thing coming to Falmouth, the arts scene is really buzzing here.
Chris.
Yes, I certainly did the right thing coming to Falmouth, the arts scene is really buzzing here.
Chris.
Monday, 19 October 2009
And shall Trelawney live...
And shall Trelawney die... that's what they were singing in Falmouth last night, long after the Oyster Festival was officially over. 'The Song of The Western Men' is recognised by many as the Cornish Anthem and I was proud to stand there, shoulders back and sing loud and proud along with the rest of them, though I can't help wondering how much that had to do with the 'Pear Rattler' we'd been drinking most of the day.
The longer I've been in Cornwall the more I get this feeling that it's a story of The Lady Penrhyn I've come here to write, a story about the first female convicts to be transported to Australia in 1787. Maybe not a strictly accurate rendition, but a fictional, research based tale about one of the 'ladies' who were taken on the 8 month 'cruise to warmer climes'.
Though the story itself didn't take place in Cornwall they have a good selection of research material here, both in The Maritime Museum in Falmouth and also in Truro. Must get over there in the next couple of weeks and take a good look.
First though I need to finish that 800 word thesis on Icarus, not as dry as you might think... at least not the way I'm writing it.
Enjoy the week.
Chris.
The longer I've been in Cornwall the more I get this feeling that it's a story of The Lady Penrhyn I've come here to write, a story about the first female convicts to be transported to Australia in 1787. Maybe not a strictly accurate rendition, but a fictional, research based tale about one of the 'ladies' who were taken on the 8 month 'cruise to warmer climes'.
Though the story itself didn't take place in Cornwall they have a good selection of research material here, both in The Maritime Museum in Falmouth and also in Truro. Must get over there in the next couple of weeks and take a good look.
First though I need to finish that 800 word thesis on Icarus, not as dry as you might think... at least not the way I'm writing it.
Enjoy the week.
Chris.
Sunday, 18 October 2009
Flying on the wings of Icarus...
At first sight, hardly the most productive way to spend your days, unless you're a writer of course. 'Two pages on Icarus please' we were told, 'size 12 - Times New Roman font and a spacing of 1.5.' Roughly speaking that means something in the region of 800 words, though because of the style I'm using - plenty of dialogue between Icarus and his father Daedalus - I'll probably end up with closer to three pages.
Not sure how Helen (Shipman) will react to the (almost comedy) treatment I'm giving the piece, but I'll find out soon enough. Personally I reckon I'm here to stretch my own wings, to learn a whole range of skills and seek out new horizons. As far as I'm concerned the course is already doing that, and more... I'm like a kid in a sweet shop just now, my main problem is trying to rein in the excitement I'm feeling, the inclination to go rushing in and opening every jar on the shelf.
There just aren't enough hours in the day. Yes I need to learn these things, but I also need to learn patience and discipline.
Chris
Not sure how Helen (Shipman) will react to the (almost comedy) treatment I'm giving the piece, but I'll find out soon enough. Personally I reckon I'm here to stretch my own wings, to learn a whole range of skills and seek out new horizons. As far as I'm concerned the course is already doing that, and more... I'm like a kid in a sweet shop just now, my main problem is trying to rein in the excitement I'm feeling, the inclination to go rushing in and opening every jar on the shelf.
There just aren't enough hours in the day. Yes I need to learn these things, but I also need to learn patience and discipline.
Chris
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
Well...
Well, that wasn't the best of days, but I suppose it was bound to happen some time. Now it's happened it's up to me to buckle down and put things right instead of getting precious about them. After all tomorrow is always another day.
Chris.
Well, that was a couple of days ago now and, as they always do, things have picked up considerably since it was written. I've left the post in place if only to remind me that all writers have these moments of self doubt - at least all the ones I know have them. It's in not allowing them to divert your attention from the task in hand that the learning comes.
Chris
Chris.
Well, that was a couple of days ago now and, as they always do, things have picked up considerably since it was written. I've left the post in place if only to remind me that all writers have these moments of self doubt - at least all the ones I know have them. It's in not allowing them to divert your attention from the task in hand that the learning comes.
Chris
Sunday, 11 October 2009
Well begun...
...is half done. That comment originally came from Aristotle I believe, but it certainly sprang to mind as we celebrated a successful first week of study. Well begun maybe, but it's still only the first week. It's a long way from being even half done, and to be honest it didn't really feel like work at all. It felt as though I was on holiday with a group of friends I'd known all my life.
Here's a photo by the way; a post-production pose of writers, actors, producer and sound engineer. A few faces missing amongst the 'writers' I'm afraid, which is a shame because it was one of those 'once in a lifetime moments' that come to us all too rarely.
Next week will bring us all crashing back to Earth I suspect, and though I'm tempting fate by saying so, I reckon I'm about ready for it. Me and my two A4 pages of reasoned argument on the pros and cons of 'Pre-nuptial agreements'; a single sentence description of my physical attributes, two more sentences on my psychological attributes, (only two?), and a list of my ten favourite books of all time.
Interesting huh? Particularly when you suspect the tutor is going to tear your precious submission to shreds in three minutes flat. You ought to try it some time, if nothing else that knowledge alone concentrates the mind beautifully. Maybe I need to go over that 'Pre-nup' thing again...
Chris.
Here's a photo by the way; a post-production pose of writers, actors, producer and sound engineer. A few faces missing amongst the 'writers' I'm afraid, which is a shame because it was one of those 'once in a lifetime moments' that come to us all too rarely.
Next week will bring us all crashing back to Earth I suspect, and though I'm tempting fate by saying so, I reckon I'm about ready for it. Me and my two A4 pages of reasoned argument on the pros and cons of 'Pre-nuptial agreements'; a single sentence description of my physical attributes, two more sentences on my psychological attributes, (only two?), and a list of my ten favourite books of all time.
Interesting huh? Particularly when you suspect the tutor is going to tear your precious submission to shreds in three minutes flat. You ought to try it some time, if nothing else that knowledge alone concentrates the mind beautifully. Maybe I need to go over that 'Pre-nup' thing again...
Chris.
Thursday, 8 October 2009
BOGOF...
Buy one, get one free... is a motto adopted by every business on every High Street in the country these days. But in Bumbury's Falmouth store, the levels of service are taken to a totally new level. From Arnie the store manager, through Bob the Trolley Man, all the way to Charlie, the unusual is putting it mildly butcher's assistant. But log in to http://thesourcefm.co.uk/programmes/tash-berks-show-friday at 14:45 this Friday to find out for yourself.
I know it's too early to make any definite decisions, but for me the format the tutors have used to introduce us, both to each other, and to the course itself, has been first class. It's been an excellent way to get us working together as a team in what could have been a difficult first week.
Well, final editing and run through in the morning, then we'll be sitting round the radio with nerves jangling and more than a little pride.
A good first week, but still a long way still to go.
Be happy,
Chris :o)
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
Two Days In...
Rainbow at Port Pendennis, Sunday. Just wish I could have got it when the big yacht was coming through the roads with all sails set. Now that would have been some picture.
Anyway, back to the course. Two days in and I'm holding my own. I'd like to tell you I'm doing better than that, but you know me, always a little on the quiet side. It's been an amazing couple of days actually, such a diverse group and yet we seem to get on well, utilising each other's talents for the benefit of the group as a whole.
We're writing a 15 minute comedy sketch show for radio under the guidance of Paul Dodgson, a talented writer, artist and musician... and here's me trying to master just the one talent ! Lol. Seems to be going well, though I'm sure things won't seem nearly as funny when we hear them done in cold blood as it were.
Still, we're off and running...
Chris.
Anyway, back to the course. Two days in and I'm holding my own. I'd like to tell you I'm doing better than that, but you know me, always a little on the quiet side. It's been an amazing couple of days actually, such a diverse group and yet we seem to get on well, utilising each other's talents for the benefit of the group as a whole.We're writing a 15 minute comedy sketch show for radio under the guidance of Paul Dodgson, a talented writer, artist and musician... and here's me trying to master just the one talent ! Lol. Seems to be going well, though I'm sure things won't seem nearly as funny when we hear them done in cold blood as it were.
Still, we're off and running...
Chris.
Sunday, 4 October 2009
Thursday, 1 October 2009
Changing my Mind...
The course begins on Monday - 10:30 in the morning, and I don't have a clue what I'm expecting to gain from it. No, seriously, not a damn clue...
I've read through most of the authors on the reading list now, and to be honest I've not been impressed by any of them. Took me an age to finish the last one 'Haunted' by Chuck Palahniuk and I think I'm beginning to understand why that was. I really enjoyed 90% of the book, but it seems I'm not the only writer who struggles to find good endings... Endings that grab you by the throat and shake you till your eyes rattle in your head. The authors on our reading list are all well known; prize winners; feted and lauded in the literary press, yet personally I still prefer the likes of Gaiman, Pratchett and (Bernard)Cornwell.
I've tried to understand what makes them prize winners I really have. What makes them so special to the Literati Glitterati; but now, on the eve of one of the greatest adventures of my life I put them on one side. They're not for me, and rightly or wrongly, I don't wish to be tainted by them. Yes, that's the word - tainted. They can write I grant you that, but theirs isn't a style I wish to copy. Nor for that matter is Gaiman's, or Pratchett's, or Cornwell's. No I have my own path to tread. Maybe I'm slitting my throat with these words, but what it means is that come Monday morning I walk up the hill to the Wood Lane campus with a completely open mind about the challenge that faces all of us doing this course.
Where it will lead I know not, but the excitement is so intense I can hold up my fingers and watch them tremble. 'Okay - Alzheimers...' I can almost hear you saying it, so don't pretend that's not what you're thinking - only you're completely wrong. Think I've already said something of the sort in the early days of this blog, but this coming twelve months is going to lead somewhere unexpected, somewhere special. Well, wouldn't your fingers be shaking if you felt that way?
Pia... if you ever read this, thank you. I owe you so much, for the way you've pushed me these past 8 months. The way you've criticised both me and my work, tearing down the walls I'd built to protect my safe and uninspiring little world. Forcing me at last to face up to the true realities of what my life had become. Some days you've pushed me to the edge of exhaustion. We've had our battles, and I know they've been pretty fierce at times. Yet whatever life throws at us, (and I believe that our journey together has barely yet begun), know that I will always be here to write for you. 'Tattoo Parlour' will be finished, and polished until it is of the standard you truly deserve.
With that off my chest I can now move on and start today's episode - Chapter 4.
Tack sjalv sa mycket...
Chris.
I've read through most of the authors on the reading list now, and to be honest I've not been impressed by any of them. Took me an age to finish the last one 'Haunted' by Chuck Palahniuk and I think I'm beginning to understand why that was. I really enjoyed 90% of the book, but it seems I'm not the only writer who struggles to find good endings... Endings that grab you by the throat and shake you till your eyes rattle in your head. The authors on our reading list are all well known; prize winners; feted and lauded in the literary press, yet personally I still prefer the likes of Gaiman, Pratchett and (Bernard)Cornwell.
I've tried to understand what makes them prize winners I really have. What makes them so special to the Literati Glitterati; but now, on the eve of one of the greatest adventures of my life I put them on one side. They're not for me, and rightly or wrongly, I don't wish to be tainted by them. Yes, that's the word - tainted. They can write I grant you that, but theirs isn't a style I wish to copy. Nor for that matter is Gaiman's, or Pratchett's, or Cornwell's. No I have my own path to tread. Maybe I'm slitting my throat with these words, but what it means is that come Monday morning I walk up the hill to the Wood Lane campus with a completely open mind about the challenge that faces all of us doing this course.
Where it will lead I know not, but the excitement is so intense I can hold up my fingers and watch them tremble. 'Okay - Alzheimers...' I can almost hear you saying it, so don't pretend that's not what you're thinking - only you're completely wrong. Think I've already said something of the sort in the early days of this blog, but this coming twelve months is going to lead somewhere unexpected, somewhere special. Well, wouldn't your fingers be shaking if you felt that way?
Pia... if you ever read this, thank you. I owe you so much, for the way you've pushed me these past 8 months. The way you've criticised both me and my work, tearing down the walls I'd built to protect my safe and uninspiring little world. Forcing me at last to face up to the true realities of what my life had become. Some days you've pushed me to the edge of exhaustion. We've had our battles, and I know they've been pretty fierce at times. Yet whatever life throws at us, (and I believe that our journey together has barely yet begun), know that I will always be here to write for you. 'Tattoo Parlour' will be finished, and polished until it is of the standard you truly deserve.
With that off my chest I can now move on and start today's episode - Chapter 4.
Tack sjalv sa mycket...
Chris.
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
How things can change...
Some days are good... Some days are bad... Today was definitely the latter, learn to live with it man...
Updated on Wednesday...
Strange world we live in, how life can change so much in so short a time? Yesterday is instant history, and once more the future appears bright.
Chris
Updated on Wednesday...
Strange world we live in, how life can change so much in so short a time? Yesterday is instant history, and once more the future appears bright.
Chris
Monday, 21 September 2009
What is this thing called time?
If you ever met me (ask Mark and Nikki you others), you'd know that I never wear a watch, haven't done for years... nor I might add do I wear a suit. I used to, all day and every day, but I took it into the back garden one afternoon, poured paraffin on it and tossed it onto a bonfire. Man it looked good to see it go up in flames, and I've never worn one since.
That suit and it's predecessors had ruled my life for close on thirty years, and when the bank made it clear that I no longer had a role to play in their plans for total world domination, I just had to let it go. The suit that is...
The watch came later,and was a very different story. I got totally blathered one night and tried to fly down the stairs in a Leeds nightclub shortly before Xmas. I'm still certain that drink was spiked, and probably intended for one of the girls in the party I was with. But that was maybe 10/12 years ago now, and like I say, I don't have much truck with time these days. It was some 48 sleepless hours later before I learnt that I'd dislocated my shoulder. Damn it hurt.
Ever since then I've had this persistent tingling sensation in my left hand; damaged some nerve the docs told me later. Wearing a watch was uncomfortable and rather lost its appeal after that. Besides, when you get to my age, who wants to be reminded that their life is passing so quickly? Certainly not me... Besides, when the writing flows from your fingers like honey, time actually becomes a hindrance. You have to take your chances when they arise.
Ah well, two weeks today and my life as a writer will REALLY begin...
Chris
That suit and it's predecessors had ruled my life for close on thirty years, and when the bank made it clear that I no longer had a role to play in their plans for total world domination, I just had to let it go. The suit that is...
The watch came later,and was a very different story. I got totally blathered one night and tried to fly down the stairs in a Leeds nightclub shortly before Xmas. I'm still certain that drink was spiked, and probably intended for one of the girls in the party I was with. But that was maybe 10/12 years ago now, and like I say, I don't have much truck with time these days. It was some 48 sleepless hours later before I learnt that I'd dislocated my shoulder. Damn it hurt.
Ever since then I've had this persistent tingling sensation in my left hand; damaged some nerve the docs told me later. Wearing a watch was uncomfortable and rather lost its appeal after that. Besides, when you get to my age, who wants to be reminded that their life is passing so quickly? Certainly not me... Besides, when the writing flows from your fingers like honey, time actually becomes a hindrance. You have to take your chances when they arise.
Ah well, two weeks today and my life as a writer will REALLY begin...
Chris
Saturday, 19 September 2009
Strange Happenings...
Okay, here's something to think about, something that might go a little way to explain my recent absence. It's an extract from my 'Reading' blog, random thoughts about the authors on my reading list. I think it's symbolic in a way, and for the first time I think I'm beginning to understand why I came here to Falmouth.
Not sure I should be saying this, but most of the authors I've read so far haven't impressed me that much. Not even in a technical way, never mind the storylines failing to grab me by the nuts and squeeze. Then I picked up Chuck Palahniuk and...
well read for yourselves.
Saturday September 19.
I can’t believe it’s 10 days since I updated here. After all seems a while since I dragged my way through ‘Weekend’, and started on the next book on my list – ‘Haunted’ by Chuck Palahniuk. Wait for it... I actually like this one. It’s weird, dark, nasty... and I like it. So why is it taking me so long to read it, and longer still to post my thoughts about it on here? I’ve even been back to the library to see whether they have ‘Fight Club’, the book of the film I never saw... but no luck. Seems the nearest copy is up at Bude or somewhere like that, so guess I’ll have to wait.
The problem is it’s making me think – too much probably. I’ve never really liked reading whilst stretched out on a beach somewhere... never really liked stretching out on beaches for that matter... But down at Maenporth a couple of days ago I found myself reading for 10/15 minutes and then wandering along the waterline, kicking at the sand and the stones thinking about what I’d just read. To be honest it’s a nasty story, so why does it grab me the way it does? Same thing happened in the car park at Truro... read a bit, think a bit. The very structure of the book makes it easy to do that. Actually it's a series of nasty, interlinked little stories that say so much about life in the 21st century.
Maybe it's for that very reason that I like it... because it IS so nasty, and because I see in it aspects of my own writing... anger, hurt, betrayal, aggression; the very things that set me off writing in the first place. And the reason it’s taking me so long to read it? Because for the first time on this journey I find myself thinking about what it is I’m reading... REALLY thinking I mean. I reckon it’s a keystone to the journey, and bless you for that Chuck, you evil bastard!!!
Back soon,
Chris.
Not sure I should be saying this, but most of the authors I've read so far haven't impressed me that much. Not even in a technical way, never mind the storylines failing to grab me by the nuts and squeeze. Then I picked up Chuck Palahniuk and...
well read for yourselves.
Saturday September 19.
I can’t believe it’s 10 days since I updated here. After all seems a while since I dragged my way through ‘Weekend’, and started on the next book on my list – ‘Haunted’ by Chuck Palahniuk. Wait for it... I actually like this one. It’s weird, dark, nasty... and I like it. So why is it taking me so long to read it, and longer still to post my thoughts about it on here? I’ve even been back to the library to see whether they have ‘Fight Club’, the book of the film I never saw... but no luck. Seems the nearest copy is up at Bude or somewhere like that, so guess I’ll have to wait.
The problem is it’s making me think – too much probably. I’ve never really liked reading whilst stretched out on a beach somewhere... never really liked stretching out on beaches for that matter... But down at Maenporth a couple of days ago I found myself reading for 10/15 minutes and then wandering along the waterline, kicking at the sand and the stones thinking about what I’d just read. To be honest it’s a nasty story, so why does it grab me the way it does? Same thing happened in the car park at Truro... read a bit, think a bit. The very structure of the book makes it easy to do that. Actually it's a series of nasty, interlinked little stories that say so much about life in the 21st century.
Maybe it's for that very reason that I like it... because it IS so nasty, and because I see in it aspects of my own writing... anger, hurt, betrayal, aggression; the very things that set me off writing in the first place. And the reason it’s taking me so long to read it? Because for the first time on this journey I find myself thinking about what it is I’m reading... REALLY thinking I mean. I reckon it’s a keystone to the journey, and bless you for that Chuck, you evil bastard!!!
Back soon,
Chris.
Thursday, 3 September 2009
The Wanderer Returns...
Seems like I've been away forever, even though it's no more than a month. That's how long it's taken to get a phone line installed (2 weeks), and my internet connection set up (another 2 weeks). Good job we came down early.
So many things to say, but also many things to do, so I'll have to wait a few days before restarting the blog. Suffice to say we're here, in Falmouth, the window ledges in the apartment crammed with books from the reading list, and I've been wearing shorts and t-shirt combinations ever since I got here. A month to go and the course will be under way.
Life is good...
Chris.
So many things to say, but also many things to do, so I'll have to wait a few days before restarting the blog. Suffice to say we're here, in Falmouth, the window ledges in the apartment crammed with books from the reading list, and I've been wearing shorts and t-shirt combinations ever since I got here. A month to go and the course will be under way.
Life is good...
Chris.
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
So it begins...
The car is pretty much loaded now, and I'm sitting here looking at the bits and pieces yet to find a place. Do we really need a vacuum cleaner, sure there was one there already, but what do I know??? 'This has nowt to do with thee', as they say in Yorkshire, 'we know what we're doing so keep your masculine nose out of it'. One woman in the house is bad enough, two is a disaster. Where the hell am I going to put my fishing tackle?
Been having a few thoughts about the course, about which story I should be concentrating on - Modern Crime or Historical drama. DC Terry Ellis, the Hundred Years War or a story of the Lady Penrhyn; the vessel that took the first female convicts to Australia in 1787. Nano stories they are - National Novel Writing Month - write 50,000 words from scratch in the month of November. I always assumed 'Long Journey' would be the one, just lately though I'm having doubts.
Okay, time to go. I'll be missing for at least a couple of weeks, but once I get things set up, I'll be back.
Chris.
Been having a few thoughts about the course, about which story I should be concentrating on - Modern Crime or Historical drama. DC Terry Ellis, the Hundred Years War or a story of the Lady Penrhyn; the vessel that took the first female convicts to Australia in 1787. Nano stories they are - National Novel Writing Month - write 50,000 words from scratch in the month of November. I always assumed 'Long Journey' would be the one, just lately though I'm having doubts.
Okay, time to go. I'll be missing for at least a couple of weeks, but once I get things set up, I'll be back.
Chris.
Monday, 3 August 2009
Chasing rainbows...
The sun's shining, burning the back of my hand through the double glazing as I sit here with my laptop exactly where it's supposed to be - on my knees. In three days time we'll be heading 400 miles south to Falmouth and the impossible dream comes a step closer to reality.
The reading list is a bitch, not a single author on it that I've read previously. Not quite true, I got three from the library, Helen Dunmore, William Boyd and Paul Auster, though the latter will probably go back unread. 'Ice cream' (Dunmore) is a collection of short stories, some I liked, some I didn't, but guess I need to keep a record of my thoughts. William Boyd - Any Human Heart is okay, but at 500+ pages I won't have time to move on to Oracle Night.
My own writing ground to a halt last week. I need time to myself to write well and just wasn't getting it. As a result it was going nowhere and there's nothing annoys me more than that. One bright star shone in the sky last week though - Thursday evening at Cougar Park, Keighley - my last game with Dewsbury Rams for at least a year :o( Final score Keighley 14 Dewsbury 54, so that's 15 wins on the trot, and the NL League title secured with three games left to play. Man, they couldn't have timed it better.
That's me on the left celebrating the win in the Cougars Bar, 'Sans beard' these days. I'm gonna miss our trips all over the place to support our team. Oh, and one big shock. I got a message on the RL forum following my match report, from an old school friend I lost touch with 40 odd years ago. He's been living out in Malaysia for some years and been enjoying the match reports I do for the club website. Strange how life turns sometimes. I'm a great believer in 'Fate', why now Mick? Why did you get in touch now? Along with Carol Anne's novel teasers, guess that's something else I'll just have to wait to learn the answer.
Intriguing 'n'est ce pas?'
Chris
The reading list is a bitch, not a single author on it that I've read previously. Not quite true, I got three from the library, Helen Dunmore, William Boyd and Paul Auster, though the latter will probably go back unread. 'Ice cream' (Dunmore) is a collection of short stories, some I liked, some I didn't, but guess I need to keep a record of my thoughts. William Boyd - Any Human Heart is okay, but at 500+ pages I won't have time to move on to Oracle Night.
My own writing ground to a halt last week. I need time to myself to write well and just wasn't getting it. As a result it was going nowhere and there's nothing annoys me more than that. One bright star shone in the sky last week though - Thursday evening at Cougar Park, Keighley - my last game with Dewsbury Rams for at least a year :o( Final score Keighley 14 Dewsbury 54, so that's 15 wins on the trot, and the NL League title secured with three games left to play. Man, they couldn't have timed it better.
That's me on the left celebrating the win in the Cougars Bar, 'Sans beard' these days. I'm gonna miss our trips all over the place to support our team. Oh, and one big shock. I got a message on the RL forum following my match report, from an old school friend I lost touch with 40 odd years ago. He's been living out in Malaysia for some years and been enjoying the match reports I do for the club website. Strange how life turns sometimes. I'm a great believer in 'Fate', why now Mick? Why did you get in touch now? Along with Carol Anne's novel teasers, guess that's something else I'll just have to wait to learn the answer.
Intriguing 'n'est ce pas?'
Chris
Monday, 20 July 2009
Blood on the Tracks...
Yes, I'm on my own again, well me and Rufus - my daughter's loopy Weimaraner dog. I'm introducing him to Dylan's music - 'Simple Twist of Fate'. Feeling pretty emotional just now; read a post on Carol Anne's blog that took me back a few years and made me think more than I've been doing lately.
I shouldn't really be here, but I wanted to get this down before the moment slipped away and was lost forever. My memory's isn't what it was, and if I don't make notes these days I could lose the moment forever. Right now every moment is precious to me. Talking of precious, I should be writing for Pia but it's been going badly lately. When my emotions are flat I can't write jack s**t, and that's the way it's been for some weeks now. Too much going on in my life I guess. 'Time to make a change' I thought.
So when everyone went out I put 'Blood on the Tracks' on the cd player, put it on permanent replay and turned the sound up high as I could take it. Right away things started to buzz. 'Jack of Hearts' now - 'the only person on the scene missing was the Jack of Hearts' - such unbelievable lyrics. Damn, if Dylan can't inspire me then there's no hope.
So watch out Pia, I'm on my way back - gonna write you something special... 'Come in she said - I'll give ya shelter from the storm...'
Chris x.
...and old men with broken teeth stranded without love... remind you of anyone?
I shouldn't really be here, but I wanted to get this down before the moment slipped away and was lost forever. My memory's isn't what it was, and if I don't make notes these days I could lose the moment forever. Right now every moment is precious to me. Talking of precious, I should be writing for Pia but it's been going badly lately. When my emotions are flat I can't write jack s**t, and that's the way it's been for some weeks now. Too much going on in my life I guess. 'Time to make a change' I thought.
So when everyone went out I put 'Blood on the Tracks' on the cd player, put it on permanent replay and turned the sound up high as I could take it. Right away things started to buzz. 'Jack of Hearts' now - 'the only person on the scene missing was the Jack of Hearts' - such unbelievable lyrics. Damn, if Dylan can't inspire me then there's no hope.
So watch out Pia, I'm on my way back - gonna write you something special... 'Come in she said - I'll give ya shelter from the storm...'
Chris x.
...and old men with broken teeth stranded without love... remind you of anyone?
Thursday, 16 July 2009
Ever decreasing circles...
That's what I seem to be running in, fast as my ageing legs will carry me but still far too slowly for my liking. We've been back a week now, and this is the first chance I've had to come back here and explain what I've been up to since my last post.
Well, we have our flat, a furnished, 2-bed, ground floor apartment close to the harbour and in sight of the Maritime Museum. It's also on the bus route out to Tremough, within easy walking distance of town, and has secure free parking. By a long way it's the best place we've seen, so the decision was quick and easy and now we're completing the necessary paperwork before moving in on August 7.
Right now it seems there's so much to do, and so little time. I'm also working on the reading list, which has something like 23 authors on the fiction list alone, never mind the non-fiction, and the textbooks are expensive! Looks like this is going to be quite an experience.
I've also written a short item for the place we've been staying at in Cornwall for our holidays this past five years whilst rewriting the first item for the University magazine - (was to be 300 words, but that's now increased to 500)- so it seems they're short of volunteers (or should that be idiots?) Ah well, that's part of the reason I'm going down early. Facebook is going crazy, for some reason I seem to be picking up new friends at the rate of 2 a day!
I'm also still writing for Pia... just... She's right, I certainly need to pick up the quality, but there seems so much to do right now. Basically I'm buzzing...
Chris
Well, we have our flat, a furnished, 2-bed, ground floor apartment close to the harbour and in sight of the Maritime Museum. It's also on the bus route out to Tremough, within easy walking distance of town, and has secure free parking. By a long way it's the best place we've seen, so the decision was quick and easy and now we're completing the necessary paperwork before moving in on August 7.
Right now it seems there's so much to do, and so little time. I'm also working on the reading list, which has something like 23 authors on the fiction list alone, never mind the non-fiction, and the textbooks are expensive! Looks like this is going to be quite an experience.
I've also written a short item for the place we've been staying at in Cornwall for our holidays this past five years whilst rewriting the first item for the University magazine - (was to be 300 words, but that's now increased to 500)- so it seems they're short of volunteers (or should that be idiots?) Ah well, that's part of the reason I'm going down early. Facebook is going crazy, for some reason I seem to be picking up new friends at the rate of 2 a day!
I'm also still writing for Pia... just... She's right, I certainly need to pick up the quality, but there seems so much to do right now. Basically I'm buzzing...
Chris
Thursday, 2 July 2009
Life changes...
Everyone has them some time, and I certainly had one last night. It was the final instalment of a 30 week 'creative writing' course at Ilkley. Might not sound a lot to most people, but when I say it changed my life I'm not exaggerating.
If you'd told me when I started the course that in 9 months time I'd be moving 4/500 miles to do a Masters degree in Pro. Writing in Falmouth I'd have died laughing, yet this time tomorrow Sheila and I will be somewhere on the M62 on the first leg of that journey.
So thanks to Mark for lighting the flame, for persuading me that it was possible; and thanks to everyone else on the course who helped fan that belief and kept it smouldering ever since. Keep the faith folks, and keep in touch...
Chris
PS. Time for me to log off for a while. I'm not sure when I'll be back, not for the next 7/10 days I suspect, and at this precise moment that fills me with a strange, and unexpected sadness. Don't know why, but I feel uneasy, maybe even scared. Time to take a deep breath and head for bed. The future will take care of itself, all I can do is give it a little nudge every now and then.
C x.
If you'd told me when I started the course that in 9 months time I'd be moving 4/500 miles to do a Masters degree in Pro. Writing in Falmouth I'd have died laughing, yet this time tomorrow Sheila and I will be somewhere on the M62 on the first leg of that journey.
So thanks to Mark for lighting the flame, for persuading me that it was possible; and thanks to everyone else on the course who helped fan that belief and kept it smouldering ever since. Keep the faith folks, and keep in touch...
Chris
PS. Time for me to log off for a while. I'm not sure when I'll be back, not for the next 7/10 days I suspect, and at this precise moment that fills me with a strange, and unexpected sadness. Don't know why, but I feel uneasy, maybe even scared. Time to take a deep breath and head for bed. The future will take care of itself, all I can do is give it a little nudge every now and then.
C x.
Tuesday, 30 June 2009
Hard Times...
Not so much for me, but it's just as upsetting when friends are feeling down, probably more so... In Pia's case it's largely my fault, though she's always been a demanding bitch when it comes to the stories I write for her - 'Why did you say this???' and 'why did you have them doing that???' Normally followed by a string of expletives in the boldest of capital letters.
She's forever threatening to find another writer, and yesterday I really thought she was carrying out her threat; but no... this morning there was the email - for example.
_ 'I just think in parts where you should be using the imagination, you are saving it for the long drawn out parts about smaller things.... just my opinions... hope all is well on your end.... will try and sign on to straighten you out...because, it seems you are straying way off course again..... FUCK: ' See what I mean?
Don't start thinking I see her as a pain though, on the contrary I'm going to miss her when our paths finally do diverge again as seems inevitable at some time. Damn! I'll miss her like crazy...
And then there's K ! Her problems are far more complicated and yet there seems so little I can do to help, except just be here for the moments when she needs someone who's happy to talk to her, and to listen. On the surface you'd think she was a pretty tough cookie, but just like the rest of us she also has her moments of doubt and despair. She's at one of those crossroads we all get in our lives, it's time for some big decisions to be made and she's not sure how things will go.
K's been around for me often enough in the past (actually we've been around for each other), and has this trick of being able to make me smile when I'm blue, which has been rather too often for my liking over the past few years. Now it's my turn and that's fine by me - that's what friends are for isn't it?
Falmouth again on Friday, the Accommodation Fair at Wood Lane, and then it's flat hunting. This is the 'make or break' trip, and we're staying until we find somewhere for the next year. Already got two places to look at on the Monday, with a third possibility in the background. Going to be a long drive down on the Friday, but hey, it'll all be worth it in the end.
The family have all moved in, a bit of a squeeze, but it's fun to have them here, unexpected maybe, but fun...
Keep in touch won't you...
Chris
She's forever threatening to find another writer, and yesterday I really thought she was carrying out her threat; but no... this morning there was the email - for example.
_ 'I just think in parts where you should be using the imagination, you are saving it for the long drawn out parts about smaller things.... just my opinions... hope all is well on your end.... will try and sign on to straighten you out...because, it seems you are straying way off course again..... FUCK: ' See what I mean?
Don't start thinking I see her as a pain though, on the contrary I'm going to miss her when our paths finally do diverge again as seems inevitable at some time. Damn! I'll miss her like crazy...
And then there's K ! Her problems are far more complicated and yet there seems so little I can do to help, except just be here for the moments when she needs someone who's happy to talk to her, and to listen. On the surface you'd think she was a pretty tough cookie, but just like the rest of us she also has her moments of doubt and despair. She's at one of those crossroads we all get in our lives, it's time for some big decisions to be made and she's not sure how things will go.
K's been around for me often enough in the past (actually we've been around for each other), and has this trick of being able to make me smile when I'm blue, which has been rather too often for my liking over the past few years. Now it's my turn and that's fine by me - that's what friends are for isn't it?
Falmouth again on Friday, the Accommodation Fair at Wood Lane, and then it's flat hunting. This is the 'make or break' trip, and we're staying until we find somewhere for the next year. Already got two places to look at on the Monday, with a third possibility in the background. Going to be a long drive down on the Friday, but hey, it'll all be worth it in the end.
The family have all moved in, a bit of a squeeze, but it's fun to have them here, unexpected maybe, but fun...
Keep in touch won't you...
Chris
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
Home and Away...
Actually I've been back a week now, but just can't seem to get settled. Falmouth was all I'd hoped it would be, and it's memory has been smouldering away inside me ever since we came back north. Trouble is it seems to have interfered with my writing; apart from a couple of sparky sessions, in fact it's been pretty flat ever since I got home. I'm distracted...
Anyway, if I've got things right, I'm including a photo of the grandkids playing on the beach.
As you can see Lewis and Evie Rosie really enjoyed their holiday, and now Mum and Dad are considering following us down to the West Country on a permanent basis.
Ah... didn't I mention it???
No... maybe not... Well, I have this feeling that something is going to crop up in the year or so we spend in Cornwall, that we'll be moving on to a new phase of our life. Can't remember which phase Shakespeare described it as, but words like 'dotage', 'toothless' and 'dribbling' are definitely not included in MY vision for the future. Well, not for a few years anyway.
Okay, not the most inspiring of blogs this one, but I needed to start somewhere. There's no anger in me at the moment, I think that's the problem. For some reason I seem to write better when that spark is smouldering nicely. Time to go away and drop something heavy on my foot I guess, see if that does the trick.
Take care...
Chris
Anyway, if I've got things right, I'm including a photo of the grandkids playing on the beach.
As you can see Lewis and Evie Rosie really enjoyed their holiday, and now Mum and Dad are considering following us down to the West Country on a permanent basis.
Ah... didn't I mention it???
No... maybe not... Well, I have this feeling that something is going to crop up in the year or so we spend in Cornwall, that we'll be moving on to a new phase of our life. Can't remember which phase Shakespeare described it as, but words like 'dotage', 'toothless' and 'dribbling' are definitely not included in MY vision for the future. Well, not for a few years anyway.
Okay, not the most inspiring of blogs this one, but I needed to start somewhere. There's no anger in me at the moment, I think that's the problem. For some reason I seem to write better when that spark is smouldering nicely. Time to go away and drop something heavy on my foot I guess, see if that does the trick.
Take care...
Chris
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
Time to go...
Midnight. Ten hours and I'll be on the road. Car fuelled up, cases packed and piled in the hallway and here I am saying my farewells to my online friends - well 'au revoirs' anyway. Should be back in 10/12 days, maybe a little wiser, certainly a little older, and probably wishing I'd stayed away a little longer.
See ya...
Chris
See ya...
Chris
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
Life is so much better...
... when the sun shines and Dylan is on the CD singing about 'Dignity' - you know 'tongues of angels and tongues of men...
So yeah, I slept okay last night, when I finally got to bed that is. It's just the way I am I guess. Sometimes I need to sleep and sometimes I need to sit and wonder where my life is going for a while. Last night though I think there was more to it than that, there was an element of satisfaction in there as well. Mix that with the excitement I was feeling and you got a foolproof recipe for insomnia.
So I did the usual... backed off the writing... took my time over a large glass of Rose while completing the Sudoku puzzle from the evening paper. Not too difficult, even at 1 in the morning 'Not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...' yeah I'm still listening to Dylan. Always regret not going to the Isle of Wight concert he did a thousand years ago. I was touring the country at the time on my 350cc Panther, so I could have made it... Ah well another regret, but hey it's gone so don't lose no sleep over it. Even at my age life has more to do with tomorrow than yesterday.
'There's a woman on my lap and she's drinkin' champagne...' are the lyics, 'Things have changed' is the song... I should be so lucky, 'lotta water under the bridge' since then, and actually I don't care much for champagne.
Crazy, but all I want to do now is to get back on the road. Maybe what I'm looking for is a Harley, and a long open road in front of me. Patience Chris. You might be riding a Nissan Almera these days rather than a 'Hog', but that open road is only 2 days away now, and you know for sure that Falmouth is going to change your life.
Time for me to log off I think, walk over to the CD player, press 'Replay' and relive my misspent youth once more.
Chris.
So yeah, I slept okay last night, when I finally got to bed that is. It's just the way I am I guess. Sometimes I need to sleep and sometimes I need to sit and wonder where my life is going for a while. Last night though I think there was more to it than that, there was an element of satisfaction in there as well. Mix that with the excitement I was feeling and you got a foolproof recipe for insomnia.
So I did the usual... backed off the writing... took my time over a large glass of Rose while completing the Sudoku puzzle from the evening paper. Not too difficult, even at 1 in the morning 'Not dark yet, but it's gettin' there...' yeah I'm still listening to Dylan. Always regret not going to the Isle of Wight concert he did a thousand years ago. I was touring the country at the time on my 350cc Panther, so I could have made it... Ah well another regret, but hey it's gone so don't lose no sleep over it. Even at my age life has more to do with tomorrow than yesterday.
'There's a woman on my lap and she's drinkin' champagne...' are the lyics, 'Things have changed' is the song... I should be so lucky, 'lotta water under the bridge' since then, and actually I don't care much for champagne.
Crazy, but all I want to do now is to get back on the road. Maybe what I'm looking for is a Harley, and a long open road in front of me. Patience Chris. You might be riding a Nissan Almera these days rather than a 'Hog', but that open road is only 2 days away now, and you know for sure that Falmouth is going to change your life.
Time for me to log off I think, walk over to the CD player, press 'Replay' and relive my misspent youth once more.
Chris.
I will be back...
It's late, well, it is for me anyway. Don't usually stop up till this time in the morning - 12:35 pm when I start this blog. It's just that sometimes I have trouble getting to sleep when the writing has been intense, and what's the point in going to bed when your mind is racing at 115 mph, and your pulse is beating like a drum. Could blame P I guess, but it's not really her fault, it's mine.
It's the writing actually. I'm not used to writing to a strict format, I've always let my stories run free, take me wherever they feel like going. That's great when you're writing for yourself, but not so hot when you're writing for someone else, especially someone as demanding as her.
So why do I do it? Why have I been doing it ever since she first appeared in my life and asked me whether I'd like to help her write a story. It's still only three months ago, yet it seems more like half a lifetime. I don't mean that in a nasty way, on the contrary, it's been an adventure... an education I wouldn't have missed for the world. Oh, and I like her of course. That could have something to do with it I suppose.
And while I'm on about writing (do I ever talk about anything else?), I leave for Falmouth in a couple of days time. Not sure how long it'll be before I get back online and post another blog, but I will be back. Who was that I heard doing the groaning? Won't make a bit of difference, I will be back.
Chris
It's the writing actually. I'm not used to writing to a strict format, I've always let my stories run free, take me wherever they feel like going. That's great when you're writing for yourself, but not so hot when you're writing for someone else, especially someone as demanding as her.
So why do I do it? Why have I been doing it ever since she first appeared in my life and asked me whether I'd like to help her write a story. It's still only three months ago, yet it seems more like half a lifetime. I don't mean that in a nasty way, on the contrary, it's been an adventure... an education I wouldn't have missed for the world. Oh, and I like her of course. That could have something to do with it I suppose.
And while I'm on about writing (do I ever talk about anything else?), I leave for Falmouth in a couple of days time. Not sure how long it'll be before I get back online and post another blog, but I will be back. Who was that I heard doing the groaning? Won't make a bit of difference, I will be back.
Chris
Saturday, 16 May 2009
Excitement...
The chest infection is still hanging on, but it's lost much of its significance with the post arriving at the weekend from the West Country; the latest info on the course and accommodation from Falmouth. Can hardly believe that we'll be heading down there in little more than a week. Damn, how exciting is that?
Actually it's looking increasingly likely that we'll be moving down to Cornwall a couple of months early, but hey, an extended holiday??? I certainly won't be complaining.
The writing has picked up a bit over the past week, Pia would probably disagree on that, but then that woman would disagree with me if I told her today was Tuesday. And yes, it is Tuesday - honest - why would I lie to you about a thing like that?
Anyway, I'd better go, I'm getting the old Scandinavian hustle again, so I'd better get back to the latest story.
Chris.
PS, almost forgot - The Rams beat Blackpool on Sunday 42-16 to maintain their unbeaten League record - 7 games 7 wins and we're off to Workington on Sunday. Yay!!!!
Actually it's looking increasingly likely that we'll be moving down to Cornwall a couple of months early, but hey, an extended holiday??? I certainly won't be complaining.
The writing has picked up a bit over the past week, Pia would probably disagree on that, but then that woman would disagree with me if I told her today was Tuesday. And yes, it is Tuesday - honest - why would I lie to you about a thing like that?
Anyway, I'd better go, I'm getting the old Scandinavian hustle again, so I'd better get back to the latest story.
Chris.
PS, almost forgot - The Rams beat Blackpool on Sunday 42-16 to maintain their unbeaten League record - 7 games 7 wins and we're off to Workington on Sunday. Yay!!!!
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
The passing of time...
Well, I'm still alive... after a fashion. Haven't written a thing for days though, so I don't really count that as actually living, more like surviving, and it's years since surviving has been enough for me.
Got the antibiotics yesterday, and now into the second day of a treatment that seems to be achieving nothing. Still feel as though I've had a good kicking, particularly in the chest area, even breathing is painful, but I'm here... and I'm still breathing... and for once I'm typing... so I guess things could be worse.
Three weeks and I'll be down in Cornwall... visiting the Uni, walking the campus and trying to look confident whilst feeling anything but. A few people to talk to whilst I'm there, including the Estate Agent, and maybe some properties to look at. God... hard to believe it's now only four months or so before we'll be moving down there... and our daughter's family take over here. I dread to think what they'll be doing to the house whilst we're gone.
Okay, the sun's shining, time for me to go for a shower, pull on some clothes and get on with my life. Maybe today I'll be able to write something worthwhile for a change. Ever the optimist...
Chris
Got the antibiotics yesterday, and now into the second day of a treatment that seems to be achieving nothing. Still feel as though I've had a good kicking, particularly in the chest area, even breathing is painful, but I'm here... and I'm still breathing... and for once I'm typing... so I guess things could be worse.
Three weeks and I'll be down in Cornwall... visiting the Uni, walking the campus and trying to look confident whilst feeling anything but. A few people to talk to whilst I'm there, including the Estate Agent, and maybe some properties to look at. God... hard to believe it's now only four months or so before we'll be moving down there... and our daughter's family take over here. I dread to think what they'll be doing to the house whilst we're gone.
Okay, the sun's shining, time for me to go for a shower, pull on some clothes and get on with my life. Maybe today I'll be able to write something worthwhile for a change. Ever the optimist...
Chris
Friday, 8 May 2009
Ill Health...
...can be a right bastard sometimes. Taking my life as a whole, I reckon I've been luckier than most, but this last week has been terrible. Even thinking about this message, and typing it out is giving me a headache that would do justice to the worst hangover of my life - which by the way was some 42 years ago now, and induced by a bottle of whisky and sheer bloody loneliness.
That was self inflicted though, not sure what this problem is. Feels a lot like this Mexican Flu thingy that's currently doing the rounds, though the nearest I've been to Mexico is Disney World in Florida, and the Cocina Restaurant on Manningham Lane, and it's been 10/12 years since I've been to either. Shivers and shakes; trembling fingers and that damn headache. Don't worry though, the health service has everything under control, they've managed to squeeze me in an appointment for Monday morning, by which time I'll either be :-
A. Dead
or
B. Fully recovered
God forbid it be the former, I've already paid the deposit on my Degree course and I bet the kids would struggle to get that refunded. Never mind... what's pissing me off most is that I can't write. String even a few words together and my headache starts banging away after the first couple of minutes. That's enough to put anyone off writing.
Never mind, there's always tomorrow - unless of course, the answer to the question I set earlier is A. Dead
In which case, I guess it's goodbye... oh, and thanks for all the fish...
That was self inflicted though, not sure what this problem is. Feels a lot like this Mexican Flu thingy that's currently doing the rounds, though the nearest I've been to Mexico is Disney World in Florida, and the Cocina Restaurant on Manningham Lane, and it's been 10/12 years since I've been to either. Shivers and shakes; trembling fingers and that damn headache. Don't worry though, the health service has everything under control, they've managed to squeeze me in an appointment for Monday morning, by which time I'll either be :-
A. Dead
or
B. Fully recovered
God forbid it be the former, I've already paid the deposit on my Degree course and I bet the kids would struggle to get that refunded. Never mind... what's pissing me off most is that I can't write. String even a few words together and my headache starts banging away after the first couple of minutes. That's enough to put anyone off writing.
Never mind, there's always tomorrow - unless of course, the answer to the question I set earlier is A. Dead
In which case, I guess it's goodbye... oh, and thanks for all the fish...
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
A strange month...
It's the way my life seems to be these days, full of ups and downs, positives and negatives, hopes and the inevitable disappointments. I think a lot of it has to do with the way I write - several long and intense sessions one after the other. It's fine when things are going well, when the words mean what you want them to mean, but it can break your heart sometimes when you read them next day and see them for the garbage they really are.
Then again, they're not really garbage, I like to think I stopped writing true garbage a long time ago. It's just that sometimes that's what they look like, that's what they sound like. There's no harsher critic of my own work than me! I can be a right bastard sometimes, but hell, if I can't criticise my own work then who can?
Most of the time it's deserved. I set my standards high, always have done, and when they fall short, I get mad with myself. Like today, or rather yesterday - that's where the problem was - yesterday. It's just taken me most of today to put things right again, but I've done it, and that's the important thing. I might only have written some 700 NEW words today, but it's the 17 pages of rewrites that have made everything worthwhile.
Think I've said this before somewhere, but if I'm still eager to learn at 64 years of age, then I'm still a writer. A tired one maybe, and not in the best seller category just yet, but I'm getting there. I can almost hear you laughing, but just keep watching this space.
Chris
Then again, they're not really garbage, I like to think I stopped writing true garbage a long time ago. It's just that sometimes that's what they look like, that's what they sound like. There's no harsher critic of my own work than me! I can be a right bastard sometimes, but hell, if I can't criticise my own work then who can?
Most of the time it's deserved. I set my standards high, always have done, and when they fall short, I get mad with myself. Like today, or rather yesterday - that's where the problem was - yesterday. It's just taken me most of today to put things right again, but I've done it, and that's the important thing. I might only have written some 700 NEW words today, but it's the 17 pages of rewrites that have made everything worthwhile.
Think I've said this before somewhere, but if I'm still eager to learn at 64 years of age, then I'm still a writer. A tired one maybe, and not in the best seller category just yet, but I'm getting there. I can almost hear you laughing, but just keep watching this space.
Chris
Saturday, 11 April 2009
It's been a long week...
The usual ups and downs with a lot of ordinary writing topped off by some that was downright poor. That's the way things seem to go sometimes, no matter how much I might wish that they didn't. Guess that's something I'll need to work on in the coming months.
Amongst other things I've been talking to Falmouth, and have now been roped in to write a regular, bi-weekly column of some 300 words on subjects of my own choosing for the Uni mag. That's pretty cool, and I guess it won't harm my prospects as long as I can cope with the rest of the course.
I've also logged into a few of their facebook sites for next year, a new and scary experience for me, but that's one of the reasons I'm doing this - the new experiences I mean.
One other piece of news; I shaved off the beard this morning. Not sure whether it's two or three years I've had it this time, but now it's been gone the best part of twelve hours and Sheila hasn't noticed a damn thing. Julie and the kids will be over in the morning; wonder how long it'll take them to notice?
Guess I'll just have to wait and find out.
Chris
Addenda - Sunday morning, Sheila noticed the beard had gone this morning - only took her 22 hours. Julie noticed the moment she walked through the door.
Amongst other things I've been talking to Falmouth, and have now been roped in to write a regular, bi-weekly column of some 300 words on subjects of my own choosing for the Uni mag. That's pretty cool, and I guess it won't harm my prospects as long as I can cope with the rest of the course.
I've also logged into a few of their facebook sites for next year, a new and scary experience for me, but that's one of the reasons I'm doing this - the new experiences I mean.
One other piece of news; I shaved off the beard this morning. Not sure whether it's two or three years I've had it this time, but now it's been gone the best part of twelve hours and Sheila hasn't noticed a damn thing. Julie and the kids will be over in the morning; wonder how long it'll take them to notice?
Guess I'll just have to wait and find out.
Chris
Addenda - Sunday morning, Sheila noticed the beard had gone this morning - only took her 22 hours. Julie noticed the moment she walked through the door.
Monday, 6 April 2009
I aint no wimp...
What do you do when the words won't come? When they seem to drift away into a mist of mediocrity , almost mocking you as they morph into pale imitations of the ones you meant them to be? Do you look back like me, at the work you've done over the past weeks and months, and realise that things have been going wrong for ages and you never even realised? What do you do then?
Like so many other questions I don't think there is an answer to that, not a definitive one anyway. I suspect it's a question all writers ask themselves at some point, but even that knowledge doesn't make it any easier when the dark moments come; when the frustration boils over into anger and self loathing.
Some would reach for the whisky I suppose, or roll a spliff; maybe even go hunt for a whore if that's what floats your boat. Something to match that sense of self loathing I'm feeling right now... Correction - that I WAS feeling when I first sat down and stared at a pristine white page with only a winking cursor to keep me company.
'F**k you,' it seemed to be saying to me. 'You're no writer, you're nothing but a wimp...' and for a while it was right.
Not sure how long I sat here this morning, trying to make sense of the words milling around in my head like a swarm of angry bees, noisy, aggressive and threatening. Then my fingers reached out and began to hit the keys.
The words I was seeing in my head were 'Damn you Pia...', though the ones that appeared on the page were actually 'I ain't no wimp...'
Only she and I will ever know the truth of it.
Chris.
Like so many other questions I don't think there is an answer to that, not a definitive one anyway. I suspect it's a question all writers ask themselves at some point, but even that knowledge doesn't make it any easier when the dark moments come; when the frustration boils over into anger and self loathing.
Some would reach for the whisky I suppose, or roll a spliff; maybe even go hunt for a whore if that's what floats your boat. Something to match that sense of self loathing I'm feeling right now... Correction - that I WAS feeling when I first sat down and stared at a pristine white page with only a winking cursor to keep me company.
'F**k you,' it seemed to be saying to me. 'You're no writer, you're nothing but a wimp...' and for a while it was right.
Not sure how long I sat here this morning, trying to make sense of the words milling around in my head like a swarm of angry bees, noisy, aggressive and threatening. Then my fingers reached out and began to hit the keys.
The words I was seeing in my head were 'Damn you Pia...', though the ones that appeared on the page were actually 'I ain't no wimp...'
Only she and I will ever know the truth of it.
Chris.
Thursday, 2 April 2009
Writing angry...
It's been a problem for me of late, or has it? I'm still trying to come to a decision on that one and thought it might be an idea to talk things through here.
I guess a good writer has to be able to write on a whole range of subjects and I'm still looking for a voice I can truly call my own. Maybe Falmouth will solve my dilemma, maybe it won't, but at the very least I think it'll teach me to focus more precisely on what I'm trying to achieve.
Now I read that last sentence again, I realise it didn't end up saying what I thought I wanted to say. So why don't I change it? Because in reading it again, I realised that what I THOUGHT I wanted to say was actually b*ll***t. See? There I go again, writing angry. Let me explain.
I think I've been writing on too many fronts for too long. I'm still telling myself that I'm honing my skills, practising the craft if you like and never quite daring to think F**K IT - I'm going to concentrate on writing 'Horror', or 'Chick Lit', or (gasp) 'Pornography' for the next six months, just to see what comes out at the end. Maybe that's what I should be looking for, a focus.
I'm naturally lazy. For every ten reasons I have for doing a project, I can find eleven reasons for not doing it, and probably a lot more than that if I really put my mind to it. Actually I'm doing one of them now - writing a blog. Think I'd better go, the sun's shining and an hour or so in the garden would be a nice break... see what I mean?
Only the blessed or the well connected seem to get published these days. I'm neither, my only hope is to work hard at the job, and that's what I do... at least it will be once I've done the washing up, and vacuumed, and mowed the lawn and...
Chris
I guess a good writer has to be able to write on a whole range of subjects and I'm still looking for a voice I can truly call my own. Maybe Falmouth will solve my dilemma, maybe it won't, but at the very least I think it'll teach me to focus more precisely on what I'm trying to achieve.
Now I read that last sentence again, I realise it didn't end up saying what I thought I wanted to say. So why don't I change it? Because in reading it again, I realised that what I THOUGHT I wanted to say was actually b*ll***t. See? There I go again, writing angry. Let me explain.
I think I've been writing on too many fronts for too long. I'm still telling myself that I'm honing my skills, practising the craft if you like and never quite daring to think F**K IT - I'm going to concentrate on writing 'Horror', or 'Chick Lit', or (gasp) 'Pornography' for the next six months, just to see what comes out at the end. Maybe that's what I should be looking for, a focus.
I'm naturally lazy. For every ten reasons I have for doing a project, I can find eleven reasons for not doing it, and probably a lot more than that if I really put my mind to it. Actually I'm doing one of them now - writing a blog. Think I'd better go, the sun's shining and an hour or so in the garden would be a nice break... see what I mean?
Only the blessed or the well connected seem to get published these days. I'm neither, my only hope is to work hard at the job, and that's what I do... at least it will be once I've done the washing up, and vacuumed, and mowed the lawn and...
Chris
Friday, 27 March 2009
To sleep... perchance to dream...
Seems a lot longer than three days since I last posted here and yet things have changed so much, even in that short time. That's one of the problems with living life at my age I find, though now I think about it, maybe it's just me. Maybe I've always been this way, up one day and down the next, maybe that's why I can write well for days, and then find myself struggling to string half a dozen decent words together.
A good sleep will often help to clear the logjam, almost as though my inventive batteries are getting recharged, and ideas will often turn up in the middle of the night only to be forgotten again by morning. I've tried leaving a pad on my bedside in the hope of scribbling down these vital snippets of information that will provide the basis for the next great novel of the century, and what do I get? A string of flat and meaningless words that would be rejected out of hand even by a 'Teletubbies' scriptwriter.
So whatever it is that happens in those early hours of the morning, it's no magic formula, no road to instant success, and actually I think that's a good thing. I don't find writing easy, never have done, though there are times when it flows so sweet it's like you turned on a tap. Times when you think 'That's it - I've cracked it - it's all downhill from here...' Only it never is, and next day I find myself back struggling to string together half a dozen decent words. Seem to remember saying that somewhere else on this blog, but there's no harm in that. It's de trewf man... I swear.
23:00 Friday, 6 months almost to the day before I leave for Falmouth. Haven't started counting the weeks yet, let alone the days, but it's only a matter of time. Travelling over to Rochdale on Sunday for the Rams second league game of the season; always a good day over there, they have a good bunch of fans. Just hope we put up a better show than we did last season. The game was played in a blizzard, and we were abysmal. I'll have to let you know the result next week.
Now I head for bed, tired but reasonably content with life. and just in case you wondered, the writing did come a lot easier on Tuesday, and like a dream today. Can't help wondering what tomorrow will bring.
Chris
A good sleep will often help to clear the logjam, almost as though my inventive batteries are getting recharged, and ideas will often turn up in the middle of the night only to be forgotten again by morning. I've tried leaving a pad on my bedside in the hope of scribbling down these vital snippets of information that will provide the basis for the next great novel of the century, and what do I get? A string of flat and meaningless words that would be rejected out of hand even by a 'Teletubbies' scriptwriter.
So whatever it is that happens in those early hours of the morning, it's no magic formula, no road to instant success, and actually I think that's a good thing. I don't find writing easy, never have done, though there are times when it flows so sweet it's like you turned on a tap. Times when you think 'That's it - I've cracked it - it's all downhill from here...' Only it never is, and next day I find myself back struggling to string together half a dozen decent words. Seem to remember saying that somewhere else on this blog, but there's no harm in that. It's de trewf man... I swear.
23:00 Friday, 6 months almost to the day before I leave for Falmouth. Haven't started counting the weeks yet, let alone the days, but it's only a matter of time. Travelling over to Rochdale on Sunday for the Rams second league game of the season; always a good day over there, they have a good bunch of fans. Just hope we put up a better show than we did last season. The game was played in a blizzard, and we were abysmal. I'll have to let you know the result next week.
Now I head for bed, tired but reasonably content with life. and just in case you wondered, the writing did come a lot easier on Tuesday, and like a dream today. Can't help wondering what tomorrow will bring.
Chris
Tuesday, 24 March 2009
Some days...
... are good, some are bad. This has been one of the worst I can remember for a while. Apart from the half decent couple of hours I put in this morning the whole day has been a washout. Best to hold my hands up when that happens I find, admit that today just wasn't meant to be, and head for bed. Yes, even at 20:00...
It's not been all disaster though, I do have one good bit of news since my last post, Pia and I are working together again. I could tell you how I stuck to my guns, upheld my principles and forced her to admit defeat, but it would all be b******t. Actually I grovelled, which makes today's wordblock all the more frustrating.
Still, as long as I'm still breathing, there's always tomorrow.
So long for now, the sooner I sleep, the sooner I'll be there.
Chris
It's not been all disaster though, I do have one good bit of news since my last post, Pia and I are working together again. I could tell you how I stuck to my guns, upheld my principles and forced her to admit defeat, but it would all be b******t. Actually I grovelled, which makes today's wordblock all the more frustrating.
Still, as long as I'm still breathing, there's always tomorrow.
So long for now, the sooner I sleep, the sooner I'll be there.
Chris
Friday, 20 March 2009
Life's a bitch...
Meatloaf told me that, me and some 5,000 other fans (or however many the Sheffield Arena accomodated that night). I used it as the theme for a 'short' short I wrote for one of the Fish competitions, 300 words or less, and never quite got it polished to my satisfaction.
Still, if I ever come across any other contests with that limit, I'll dig it out, dust it off and start all over again. A Yorkshireman through and through, a 'waste not - want not', and 'if ever tha does owt for nowt, allus do it for thissen' kind of guy, that's me. Certainly I never throw away anything I write, swear I've got stuff tucked away going back centuries.
Pia and I have gone our separate ways it seems, personality clash, artistic temperament, call it what you will. Shame actually, I quite liked her, she had some cracking ideas and certainly knew how to motivate me - even if it was mostly with a big stick. Now though I've taken a couple of sleeping pills in the hope of getting a decent night's sleep for once. My eyes are drooping, my hands are slowing on the keyboard and, if it wasn't for spell-checker this piece would be well nigh unreadable. Another day draws towards its conclusion.
Time for bed I think...
Chris.
Still, if I ever come across any other contests with that limit, I'll dig it out, dust it off and start all over again. A Yorkshireman through and through, a 'waste not - want not', and 'if ever tha does owt for nowt, allus do it for thissen' kind of guy, that's me. Certainly I never throw away anything I write, swear I've got stuff tucked away going back centuries.
Pia and I have gone our separate ways it seems, personality clash, artistic temperament, call it what you will. Shame actually, I quite liked her, she had some cracking ideas and certainly knew how to motivate me - even if it was mostly with a big stick. Now though I've taken a couple of sleeping pills in the hope of getting a decent night's sleep for once. My eyes are drooping, my hands are slowing on the keyboard and, if it wasn't for spell-checker this piece would be well nigh unreadable. Another day draws towards its conclusion.
Time for bed I think...
Chris.
Sunday, 15 March 2009
A Pause for Reflection
A strangely philosophical post this morning. Here I am, sitting on my bed staring out across the Aire valley to the first, straggling houses of Wrose up there on the brow of the hill. The sky a pale shade of blue, the sun, warm for a change (though that may have something to do with the glass), a light breeze barely shifting the budded branches of the two flowering cherries that stand in the front garden.
High up I see the vapour trails, big jets coming up from London, flying high and heading for Scotland before turning left and setting out across the North Atlantic for destinations such as New York, Montreal, Washington DC maybe. Places I've never been... not yet anyway.
Hanging from the curtain rail are two multi faceted pendants, nothing more than lumps of tinted glass really, but symbolic in their own way I suppose. The top one a small heart, and a couple of inches lower a large teardrop... a definite sense of irony there I feel. They both swing slowly, independently as the slight breeze ruffles the tall evergreen outside, before easing its way in through my window.
In midwinter, the sun is all wrong. Too low and too weak, but not today. Today I sit here with a mug of coffee still steaming in my hand and watch, entranced, as the pendants turn in the whispers of wind, sending slender shards of rainbow light sliding across the walls and flickering over my bare legs.
It's one of those magic moments. Outside I can hear the birds and the crocuses are out in clusters of gold and purple. Soon it will be the daffodils...
Oh yes, I think Spring is on its way...
Chris
High up I see the vapour trails, big jets coming up from London, flying high and heading for Scotland before turning left and setting out across the North Atlantic for destinations such as New York, Montreal, Washington DC maybe. Places I've never been... not yet anyway.
Hanging from the curtain rail are two multi faceted pendants, nothing more than lumps of tinted glass really, but symbolic in their own way I suppose. The top one a small heart, and a couple of inches lower a large teardrop... a definite sense of irony there I feel. They both swing slowly, independently as the slight breeze ruffles the tall evergreen outside, before easing its way in through my window.
In midwinter, the sun is all wrong. Too low and too weak, but not today. Today I sit here with a mug of coffee still steaming in my hand and watch, entranced, as the pendants turn in the whispers of wind, sending slender shards of rainbow light sliding across the walls and flickering over my bare legs.
It's one of those magic moments. Outside I can hear the birds and the crocuses are out in clusters of gold and purple. Soon it will be the daffodils...
Oh yes, I think Spring is on its way...
Chris
Monday, 9 March 2009
Monday... I've had better days, and there's still 6 hours of it left. Was a time I'd have logged off at this point, to be seen no more till dawn's early light. Not any more though, instead of 'logging' off, I'm 'blogging' off and letting you feel the sharp edge of my tongue for a change.
On second thoughts, maybe not... I got called away, and now we're into Tuesday afternoon my mood has changed again. I've been following the progress of those doing the two year distance learning course for the MA and some of them are finding it hard to fit in all the time required, maybe doing the course 'on campus' was a wiser decision for me in ways I'd never suspected.
I'm feeling my age again today, even my grandson calls me 'Grumpy', though I think his mother encourages him in that, a matter for which she will pay dearly at some time in the future. But I'd got myself into a groove, well, rut would probably be a better word, and I need to dig myself out of it sharpish. I'm writing too slowly and too... damn, what's the word? Ordinary comes close, mediocre even closer and yet neither is quite what I'm trying to say. Crap would probably cover it, but I'm trying to cut down on the bad language, particularly when Evie Rosie is spending the day here.
Oh, and talking of swear words, the Swedish witch is back, and I have to admit I misjudged her. She was more than happy with the story we wrote together. So much so that I now have another to write and only 8 days in which to complete it, and maybe a third to come later. Good practice for the curse, sorry course, in the Autumn I suppose, so what am I doing here? Fiddle- faddling my grandma would have said, Grandma Steer that is, on my mother's side... Hmmm, now I think of it, she'd have told me exactly the same as Pia only without the swearing - 'stop wasting time boy - get on and do it!'
So here we go again...
Chris
P.S. Sorry, I got distracted. I was going to say that I'm going to Falmouth in the hope of getting the good slapping I don't think I'd get from the distance learning option. I'll be working with (mostly) younger, less cynical people in the hope that their enthusiasm will kick start a career in writing. Something I should have done years ago...
And that's about it...
You can go now...
On second thoughts, maybe not... I got called away, and now we're into Tuesday afternoon my mood has changed again. I've been following the progress of those doing the two year distance learning course for the MA and some of them are finding it hard to fit in all the time required, maybe doing the course 'on campus' was a wiser decision for me in ways I'd never suspected.
I'm feeling my age again today, even my grandson calls me 'Grumpy', though I think his mother encourages him in that, a matter for which she will pay dearly at some time in the future. But I'd got myself into a groove, well, rut would probably be a better word, and I need to dig myself out of it sharpish. I'm writing too slowly and too... damn, what's the word? Ordinary comes close, mediocre even closer and yet neither is quite what I'm trying to say. Crap would probably cover it, but I'm trying to cut down on the bad language, particularly when Evie Rosie is spending the day here.
Oh, and talking of swear words, the Swedish witch is back, and I have to admit I misjudged her. She was more than happy with the story we wrote together. So much so that I now have another to write and only 8 days in which to complete it, and maybe a third to come later. Good practice for the curse, sorry course, in the Autumn I suppose, so what am I doing here? Fiddle- faddling my grandma would have said, Grandma Steer that is, on my mother's side... Hmmm, now I think of it, she'd have told me exactly the same as Pia only without the swearing - 'stop wasting time boy - get on and do it!'
So here we go again...
Chris
P.S. Sorry, I got distracted. I was going to say that I'm going to Falmouth in the hope of getting the good slapping I don't think I'd get from the distance learning option. I'll be working with (mostly) younger, less cynical people in the hope that their enthusiasm will kick start a career in writing. Something I should have done years ago...
And that's about it...
You can go now...
Friday, 6 March 2009
I'm not sure how long it is since I last posted here. Three days maybe, but right now I'm too tired to worry, too tired to check, and certainly too tired to care. The story I've been working on for, (and with), Pia is done at last. I sent it early this afternoon, and then spent hours wondering what her reaction would be. Her response was something along the lines of 'change a single word and you're dead...', and not a rude word in sight.
Actually I'm quite worried about her, think she must be sickening for something, though I'd put money on it that she'll be back come morning with a conversation that will start - 'Well, now I've had chance to read it properly, don't you think... '
Why the hell did I ever think that being a writer was a glamorous occupation for such a playboy of the western world as myself? Only reason I can come up with is insanity.
So yes it's true, I got Falmouth's acceptance letter this morning. It's sitting on the coffee table as I write this, and in the morning I'll complete my confirmation, send them an OBSCENE amount of money and start looking forward to October 5th.
If I wasn't so old, I'd want the months to fly by, but old age brings some sense, even to someone like me. The days are too precious to waste them now, I'd rather spin them out as long as I can if that's okay.
Thanks for listening, call by again some time, even say 'Hi' if you like. I'll be around.
Chris
Actually I'm quite worried about her, think she must be sickening for something, though I'd put money on it that she'll be back come morning with a conversation that will start - 'Well, now I've had chance to read it properly, don't you think... '
Why the hell did I ever think that being a writer was a glamorous occupation for such a playboy of the western world as myself? Only reason I can come up with is insanity.
So yes it's true, I got Falmouth's acceptance letter this morning. It's sitting on the coffee table as I write this, and in the morning I'll complete my confirmation, send them an OBSCENE amount of money and start looking forward to October 5th.
If I wasn't so old, I'd want the months to fly by, but old age brings some sense, even to someone like me. The days are too precious to waste them now, I'd rather spin them out as long as I can if that's okay.
Thanks for listening, call by again some time, even say 'Hi' if you like. I'll be around.
Chris
Wednesday, 4 March 2009
Well, I got the email today, the one I'd been hoping for. The University of Falmouth have confirmed my place on the MA course in Professional Writing starting in October. It does feel weird though, a guy my age going to University - unreal is one of the first words that springs to mind.
Think I'll leave it at that for today, so much to think about.
Chris
Think I'll leave it at that for today, so much to think about.
Chris
Monday, 2 March 2009
New month, same old problems. Damn, for some reason I thought getting the interview done and dusted would settle my nerves a bit, but it hasn't. I'm about as jumpy as a ferret on an f***ing fireguard.
'Calm down man, you'll get your answer soon enough.'
Yeah... right... easy for you to say, but then you don't know how much I really want to do this. You probably think I've flipped at last, that my fear of Alzheimers has finally sent me hurtling over the edge of insanity. But I'd be happy to argue the point with you any time, preferably over a pint of best Cornish Bitter. I've looked at doing a degree so many times and never really found one that lit my fire, until now.
'Who's arguing? Your life, your decision... Besides you might actually be good at it... Better than you were at Banking anyway! Put your heart into it, and see what emerges at the other end.'
Hmmm... yeah, that's what I intend to do. Shouldn't really be writing about it now anyway, it just makes me nervous, and I should be writing that story for the Stockholm Valkyrie. She'll be at my throat again any time now yelling 'Is it finished yet, is it finished yet?.'
Yes on second thoughts I'd better go. My fingers have warmed up nicely, the story is there in my head just waiting to flow across the page like warm honey... time to go write I think. Bye...
Chris
'Calm down man, you'll get your answer soon enough.'
Yeah... right... easy for you to say, but then you don't know how much I really want to do this. You probably think I've flipped at last, that my fear of Alzheimers has finally sent me hurtling over the edge of insanity. But I'd be happy to argue the point with you any time, preferably over a pint of best Cornish Bitter. I've looked at doing a degree so many times and never really found one that lit my fire, until now.
'Who's arguing? Your life, your decision... Besides you might actually be good at it... Better than you were at Banking anyway! Put your heart into it, and see what emerges at the other end.'
Hmmm... yeah, that's what I intend to do. Shouldn't really be writing about it now anyway, it just makes me nervous, and I should be writing that story for the Stockholm Valkyrie. She'll be at my throat again any time now yelling 'Is it finished yet, is it finished yet?.'
Yes on second thoughts I'd better go. My fingers have warmed up nicely, the story is there in my head just waiting to flow across the page like warm honey... time to go write I think. Bye...
Chris
Thursday, 26 February 2009
write at the end
Well I was wrong, about yesterday I mean' at least I hope I was. I've got a week to decide between the one year residential, or the two year distance learning courses. Personal preference is the one year, with the added bonus that it starts this September, rather than next January and will therefore be completed some 15 months ahead of schedule.
I can't say the interview went as well as I'd hoped. Sometimes I seemed to come over a little woolly, and that was my opinion, so I dread to think what Helen Shipman made of me. Still, the decision will be made by next week, so I should hear pretty soon. Just hope the answer's yes that's all.
I could say that today hasn't been the best of days, but that would be over-egging the pudding a tad. Too many late nights catching up on me I guess, too much hassle. Could head for bed, but it seems a little early yet, so here I am filling in my own personal blog and wishing I could get a decent night's sleep for a change.
Tomorrow's another day, and I'll be looking at Pia's 'Happy Endings' again from a fresh perspective. Dammit, I think I will go to bed after all. Lots to do in the morning, Evie Rosie to collect, though I hear she's teething again and it could be another difficult day. Never mind, when has life ever been any different? On second thoughts, don't answer that.
Chris.
I can't say the interview went as well as I'd hoped. Sometimes I seemed to come over a little woolly, and that was my opinion, so I dread to think what Helen Shipman made of me. Still, the decision will be made by next week, so I should hear pretty soon. Just hope the answer's yes that's all.
I could say that today hasn't been the best of days, but that would be over-egging the pudding a tad. Too many late nights catching up on me I guess, too much hassle. Could head for bed, but it seems a little early yet, so here I am filling in my own personal blog and wishing I could get a decent night's sleep for a change.
Tomorrow's another day, and I'll be looking at Pia's 'Happy Endings' again from a fresh perspective. Dammit, I think I will go to bed after all. Lots to do in the morning, Evie Rosie to collect, though I hear she's teething again and it could be another difficult day. Never mind, when has life ever been any different? On second thoughts, don't answer that.
Chris.
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
write at the end
Tuesday, getting late and my friends have abandoned me both online and off. Should be heading for bed I suppose, and yet I know I'll have trouble sleeping again. The phone interview with the University of Falmouth is at ten in the morning, and sure, I've got all the papers ready, but we all know they're going to ask me something out of left field. Something I should know, but don't.
Ah well, time for a hot chocolate and then bed I think. You just don't know what life will bring do you?
If I'm not back sometime tomorrow, you'll know I blew it.
Be happy,
Chris.
Ah well, time for a hot chocolate and then bed I think. You just don't know what life will bring do you?
If I'm not back sometime tomorrow, you'll know I blew it.
Be happy,
Chris.
Saturday, 21 February 2009
write at the end
'Is it really six days since I was here last?'
'Not good enough C, you'll HAVE to do better than that if you're to have any chance of winning the prize!'
'Ah yes,' I say, 'but I've been busy... REALLY busy... working my socks off in fact...'
'Tough!' comes your reply, 'maybe now you'll have an idea what this writing business is all about. It can be hard, too hard for you it seems. You're going to wimp out on me aren't you? Hide your head in the sand and disappear back into your shell?'
I shake my head. 'Think again Pia. You did your best, but even you won't break me. If anything you've given me the confidence to take this thing by the throat and shake it till its teeth rattle. Actually I owe you a lot. You gave me back my pride, and for that alone I will always be grateful.'
And now for bed...
Chris
'Not good enough C, you'll HAVE to do better than that if you're to have any chance of winning the prize!'
'Ah yes,' I say, 'but I've been busy... REALLY busy... working my socks off in fact...'
'Tough!' comes your reply, 'maybe now you'll have an idea what this writing business is all about. It can be hard, too hard for you it seems. You're going to wimp out on me aren't you? Hide your head in the sand and disappear back into your shell?'
I shake my head. 'Think again Pia. You did your best, but even you won't break me. If anything you've given me the confidence to take this thing by the throat and shake it till its teeth rattle. Actually I owe you a lot. You gave me back my pride, and for that alone I will always be grateful.'
And now for bed...
Chris
Sunday, 15 February 2009
write at the end
Isn't it strange how life can change so quickly? Up one day, down the next, and back up again today. Not that I'd dream of complaining mind, after all why would I complain about a smile, particularly when it's adorning my face?
First competitive game of the new season ends Dewsbury Rams 50 - Swinton Lions 0, it's just a shame I couldn't be there to witness this new beginning. Featherstone away next weekend, might have to miss that one as well, but there's no way I'm missing the game against the Bulldogs on March 1st, that's one I'd just love to win.
The grandchildren came over with their Mum this morning, so the house was bedlam again. Evie seems to have done away with that dummy at last, and Lewis is as crazy as ever, especially after he's got a good meal in him. I see a lot of his Ma in him, so he's going to be trying, but worth the effort. Life wouldn't be the same without them.
And no, that's not the reason for the smile either. I'm afraid you'll have to wait a while longer to hear the reason for that, I need to give my face time to get used to the sensation.
Chris
First competitive game of the new season ends Dewsbury Rams 50 - Swinton Lions 0, it's just a shame I couldn't be there to witness this new beginning. Featherstone away next weekend, might have to miss that one as well, but there's no way I'm missing the game against the Bulldogs on March 1st, that's one I'd just love to win.
The grandchildren came over with their Mum this morning, so the house was bedlam again. Evie seems to have done away with that dummy at last, and Lewis is as crazy as ever, especially after he's got a good meal in him. I see a lot of his Ma in him, so he's going to be trying, but worth the effort. Life wouldn't be the same without them.
And no, that's not the reason for the smile either. I'm afraid you'll have to wait a while longer to hear the reason for that, I need to give my face time to get used to the sensation.
Chris
Saturday, 14 February 2009
write at the end
Getting late; 22:20 already and it's Saint Valentine's Day. At least it is here in good old England, don't know about the likes of France, the USA, Mozambique, Australia, the Virgin Islands or a thousand other places in the world. Do they celebrate February 14th the same way we do over here?
Actually now I think about it, I can't say I'm all that bothered these days, it's just another day, no more and no less romantic than most other days. Yesterday the sun was shining and the sky was blue, today looks like it's my turn. To be blue I mean. Did manage to critique my first story on C.C. for a while though, finally went okay, though it took me a while to get back in the groove. Nice story too, unusual short based on 'Carcassonne', a poem by Gustave Naudad. Just goes to show you come across something new every day in this game.
No, game isn't right. It's not been a game for years, that would suggest I'm playing at my writing and that couldn't be further from the truth. What I'm doing is learning the craft, maturing, ripening. Yeah, even at my age. The day I don't learn something new is the day I grow old and die, and I ain't ready for that yet. Not today.
Chris
Actually now I think about it, I can't say I'm all that bothered these days, it's just another day, no more and no less romantic than most other days. Yesterday the sun was shining and the sky was blue, today looks like it's my turn. To be blue I mean. Did manage to critique my first story on C.C. for a while though, finally went okay, though it took me a while to get back in the groove. Nice story too, unusual short based on 'Carcassonne', a poem by Gustave Naudad. Just goes to show you come across something new every day in this game.
No, game isn't right. It's not been a game for years, that would suggest I'm playing at my writing and that couldn't be further from the truth. What I'm doing is learning the craft, maturing, ripening. Yeah, even at my age. The day I don't learn something new is the day I grow old and die, and I ain't ready for that yet. Not today.
Chris
Friday, 13 February 2009
write at the end
Well, it's done. The application I mean. Went in the post this morning, though it could be some months before I hear anything. Am I nervous? Of course not - (that's writerspeak for 'you bet I'm nervous' by the way). Only 11 days ago I knew next to nothing about University College, Falmouth and now I can't get it off my mind. I just love it when life takes these sudden twists. It seems to reflect my writing somehow, like when the story starts to tell itself.
Am I a writer? Well yes, I'd say so, been one for a few years actually. Okay, unpublished at the moment I'll admit, but it's just a matter of time. Now ask me another...
Will this course change my life, my ambitions, my dreams? Without a doubt. I've done a fair bit of critiquing over the past few years, maybe I'll take a look down that road, or lecturing or... well who knows, I'm sure I don't. The only thing I can say for sure is that my life just changed, it got exciting again.
As if nature is reflecting my mood the sky over Baildon is clear and blue this afternoon. The sun is shining, the snow is melting and I'm on the first stage of a journey.
Chris
Am I a writer? Well yes, I'd say so, been one for a few years actually. Okay, unpublished at the moment I'll admit, but it's just a matter of time. Now ask me another...
Will this course change my life, my ambitions, my dreams? Without a doubt. I've done a fair bit of critiquing over the past few years, maybe I'll take a look down that road, or lecturing or... well who knows, I'm sure I don't. The only thing I can say for sure is that my life just changed, it got exciting again.
As if nature is reflecting my mood the sky over Baildon is clear and blue this afternoon. The sun is shining, the snow is melting and I'm on the first stage of a journey.
Chris
Thursday, 12 February 2009
write at the end
Still trying to understand this new-fangled 'Blog' thingy ... and failing. Persistence is the key I'm sure, so here we are on day two. I've slipped a photo and a few extra details into my profile. It doesn't look all that different from yesterday I'm afraid, and I know it'll be some time before I understand what's going on.
Had another Creative Writing course in Ilkley last night, challenging as ever. Sometimes it seems to have taken on a life of it's own with Mark just sitting there and smiling while the rest of us argue as to the relative merits of Flannery O'Connor and Charles Bukowski. I reckon he's smiling because he knows he's doing what he set out to do. Demolish any preconceptions we might have about our writing, and make us rethink them. That's fine, but there's no way I'm going to copy Bukowski Mark, he just ain't my scene.
Now I need to finish off my application to Uni. College of Falmouth for next years Professional writing MA. And yes, you read it right, I am 64 years of age. Hence the blog title, 'Write at the end...' Well, not quite the end - not yet.
Chris
Had another Creative Writing course in Ilkley last night, challenging as ever. Sometimes it seems to have taken on a life of it's own with Mark just sitting there and smiling while the rest of us argue as to the relative merits of Flannery O'Connor and Charles Bukowski. I reckon he's smiling because he knows he's doing what he set out to do. Demolish any preconceptions we might have about our writing, and make us rethink them. That's fine, but there's no way I'm going to copy Bukowski Mark, he just ain't my scene.
Now I need to finish off my application to Uni. College of Falmouth for next years Professional writing MA. And yes, you read it right, I am 64 years of age. Hence the blog title, 'Write at the end...' Well, not quite the end - not yet.
Chris
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
write at the end
How sad is that? Almost halfway through February and I'm still having to ask myself 'what year is this?', and then switch on the TV to get an answer.
Well, everyone has to start somewhere I guess, and here I am, wondering whether to press 'Publish post', 'Save now', or simply 'DELETE!' Okay, it's 'Publish post', and so my journey begins...
Well, everyone has to start somewhere I guess, and here I am, wondering whether to press 'Publish post', 'Save now', or simply 'DELETE!' Okay, it's 'Publish post', and so my journey begins...
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