write at the end

Well I was wrong, about yesterday I mean' at least I hope I was. I've got a week to decide between the one year residential, or the two year distance learning courses. Personal preference is the one year, with the added bonus that it starts this September, rather than next January and will therefore be completed some 15 months ahead of schedule.

I can't say the interview went as well as I'd hoped. Sometimes I seemed to come over a little woolly, and that was my opinion, so I dread to think what Helen Shipman made of me. Still, the decision will be made by next week, so I should hear pretty soon. Just hope the answer's yes that's all.

I could say that today hasn't been the best of days, but that would be over-egging the pudding a tad. Too many late nights catching up on me I guess, too much hassle. Could head for bed, but it seems a little early yet, so here I am filling in my own personal blog and wishing I could get a decent night's sleep for a change.

Tomorrow's another day, and I'll be looking at Pia's 'Happy Endings' again from a fresh perspective. Dammit, I think I will go to bed after all. Lots to do in the morning, Evie Rosie to collect, though I hear she's teething again and it could be another difficult day. Never mind, when has life ever been any different? On second thoughts, don't answer that.

Chris.

write at the end

Tuesday, getting late and my friends have abandoned me both online and off. Should be heading for bed I suppose, and yet I know I'll have trouble sleeping again. The phone interview with the University of Falmouth is at ten in the morning, and sure, I've got all the papers ready, but we all know they're going to ask me something out of left field. Something I should know, but don't.

Ah well, time for a hot chocolate and then bed I think. You just don't know what life will bring do you?

If I'm not back sometime tomorrow, you'll know I blew it.
Be happy,
Chris.

write at the end

'Is it really six days since I was here last?'

'Not good enough C, you'll HAVE to do better than that if you're to have any chance of winning the prize!'

'Ah yes,' I say, 'but I've been busy... REALLY busy... working my socks off in fact...'

'Tough!' comes your reply, 'maybe now you'll have an idea what this writing business is all about. It can be hard, too hard for you it seems. You're going to wimp out on me aren't you? Hide your head in the sand and disappear back into your shell?'

I shake my head. 'Think again Pia. You did your best, but even you won't break me. If anything you've given me the confidence to take this thing by the throat and shake it till its teeth rattle. Actually I owe you a lot. You gave me back my pride, and for that alone I will always be grateful.'

And now for bed...
Chris

write at the end

Isn't it strange how life can change so quickly? Up one day, down the next, and back up again today. Not that I'd dream of complaining mind, after all why would I complain about a smile, particularly when it's adorning my face?

First competitive game of the new season ends Dewsbury Rams 50 - Swinton Lions 0, it's just a shame I couldn't be there to witness this new beginning. Featherstone away next weekend, might have to miss that one as well, but there's no way I'm missing the game against the Bulldogs on March 1st, that's one I'd just love to win.

The grandchildren came over with their Mum this morning, so the house was bedlam again. Evie seems to have done away with that dummy at last, and Lewis is as crazy as ever, especially after he's got a good meal in him. I see a lot of his Ma in him, so he's going to be trying, but worth the effort. Life wouldn't be the same without them.

And no, that's not the reason for the smile either. I'm afraid you'll have to wait a while longer to hear the reason for that, I need to give my face time to get used to the sensation.

Chris

write at the end

Getting late; 22:20 already and it's Saint Valentine's Day. At least it is here in good old England, don't know about the likes of France, the USA, Mozambique, Australia, the Virgin Islands or a thousand other places in the world. Do they celebrate February 14th the same way we do over here?

Actually now I think about it, I can't say I'm all that bothered these days, it's just another day, no more and no less romantic than most other days. Yesterday the sun was shining and the sky was blue, today looks like it's my turn. To be blue I mean. Did manage to critique my first story on C.C. for a while though, finally went okay, though it took me a while to get back in the groove. Nice story too, unusual short based on 'Carcassonne', a poem by Gustave Naudad. Just goes to show you come across something new every day in this game.

No, game isn't right. It's not been a game for years, that would suggest I'm playing at my writing and that couldn't be further from the truth. What I'm doing is learning the craft, maturing, ripening. Yeah, even at my age. The day I don't learn something new is the day I grow old and die, and I ain't ready for that yet. Not today.

Chris

write at the end

Well, it's done. The application I mean. Went in the post this morning, though it could be some months before I hear anything. Am I nervous? Of course not - (that's writerspeak for 'you bet I'm nervous' by the way). Only 11 days ago I knew next to nothing about University College, Falmouth and now I can't get it off my mind. I just love it when life takes these sudden twists. It seems to reflect my writing somehow, like when the story starts to tell itself.

Am I a writer? Well yes, I'd say so, been one for a few years actually. Okay, unpublished at the moment I'll admit, but it's just a matter of time. Now ask me another...

Will this course change my life, my ambitions, my dreams? Without a doubt. I've done a fair bit of critiquing over the past few years, maybe I'll take a look down that road, or lecturing or... well who knows, I'm sure I don't. The only thing I can say for sure is that my life just changed, it got exciting again.

As if nature is reflecting my mood the sky over Baildon is clear and blue this afternoon. The sun is shining, the snow is melting and I'm on the first stage of a journey.

Chris

write at the end

Still trying to understand this new-fangled 'Blog' thingy ... and failing. Persistence is the key I'm sure, so here we are on day two. I've slipped a photo and a few extra details into my profile. It doesn't look all that different from yesterday I'm afraid, and I know it'll be some time before I understand what's going on.

Had another Creative Writing course in Ilkley last night, challenging as ever. Sometimes it seems to have taken on a life of it's own with Mark just sitting there and smiling while the rest of us argue as to the relative merits of Flannery O'Connor and Charles Bukowski. I reckon he's smiling because he knows he's doing what he set out to do. Demolish any preconceptions we might have about our writing, and make us rethink them. That's fine, but there's no way I'm going to copy Bukowski Mark, he just ain't my scene.

Now I need to finish off my application to Uni. College of Falmouth for next years Professional writing MA. And yes, you read it right, I am 64 years of age. Hence the blog title, 'Write at the end...' Well, not quite the end - not yet.
Chris

write at the end

How sad is that? Almost halfway through February and I'm still having to ask myself 'what year is this?', and then switch on the TV to get an answer.

Well, everyone has to start somewhere I guess, and here I am, wondering whether to press 'Publish post', 'Save now', or simply 'DELETE!' Okay, it's 'Publish post', and so my journey begins...